It’s September 3, and I absolutely adore the #3. It’s special, it’s spiritual and it’s also my favorite boss’s bday. So many things to celebrate, except a friend in survivorship took his last breaths this past weekend and I am crushed.
I rushed to read the obituary sent via his caring bridge from his family early this morning and afterwards felt depleted. I had hopes that something would be said that would make it all better, but it’s not better it’s worse. It’s heartbreaking and bitter and in the words of my ex-Chinese production person, NOT FAIR. I even considered skipping yoga as I just could not bear to be around anyone, not even my future husband. Who candidly has been suffering from a horrible case of hemmeroids since returning from our Grecian adventure. Le sigh. I wish I had the empathy I have for cancer patients and survivors for him with his hemmoroidal struggle but it’s something I am working on for myself and for my marriage. #makeEmpathyGreatAgain
However, the first step is admitting and I know I save most my empathy for the people who cannot control what ails them versus those things that can be cleared up with time and over the counter meds and a well maintained diet. I am working on it.
As I take the #12 line to le marais for some magical yoga, deep breathing and detox from daily life I cannot help but think why. Why was Kevin, given cancer 3 x and why why why did he suddenly contract a virus that eventually attacked his lungs and led to his slow and extremely sad passing on. For heaven’s sake he slayed cancer 3 times and shouldn’t he be allowed to be with his wife and 3 beautiful children on that alone. This is where I start to question….not God, not the universe but why.
For me it certainly does not make sense, and as I search for meaning in my life over the next 2 months, as well as solidify something work wise, I wonder sometimes why am I still here and others, who have people who need them more than ever, are taken too quickly. Not that the people in my life don’t need me, as I am reminded daily by family and friends that even though I am an Atlantic Ocean away, I am still needed, but when someone has children and they have to suffer it makes me think, WTF is happening and why.
So here’s to this week of wondering and willingly asking the universe to point me in a direction that gives meaning to my life. Meaning outside of just living my best French life….and also, asking the universe, God, the angels to make it consciously clear of what I am supposed to do to help others, inspire others and support others in their journey of life and all the challenges and beauty it brings every single day.
This one is for you Kev and your beautiful wife Kelly and the amazing children you brought into this world. You will forever be remembered for your force and fortitude and FAITH to fight the beast that shall rename nameless because let’s be clear, it had nothing on you! Your spirit lives on forever my friend in survivorship.
So with that my followers, family and friends, when you think you are having a bad day and nothing seems to be going right, remember that life is precious beautiful and priceless. Live in gratitude daily and do not be deterred by the detours and daily dramas that sometimes get the best of us. MYSELF included.
Je vous embrasse fort!